March 6, 2009

March 4, 2009

  • Response Blogging (again)

    This is a response to saintvi's weblog entry: A Little Knowledge Is a Dangerous.

    I left it as a comment.  By the way, I have absolutely nothing against saintvi, and I actually agreed with her post (or 90% of it).  I just wanted to bring my comment to attention since I didn't blog today and it's blog-length and blog-worthy.

    It's very interesting you blog about age in this post.  There are two things I can say to you on the subject of age. The first is that discrimination based on age is called ageism (I'm sure you're aware) and it is not exactly warranted.  Of course, like with any stereotype, people will always perpetuate it in one way or another.  The idea that adolescents are both ignorant and immature, absolutely perpetuated by some adolescents, winds up giving all adolescents a bad rep.  This is the same kind of thinking that has people thinking that old people don't have sex.  And, as we all know, that's a boldfaced lie.

    Furthering this point:  Aside from life experience (which you directly reference), there are no guaranteed differences between the twenty-year-old and the forty-year-old, at least not cognitively speaking. A lot of life transcends age (&time) and it is therefore unfair to value someone's opinion more because they have age on their side (nor does it make sense to value a life more just because they are young for that matter). The experiences I have had and not had do not make my values or beliefs any less valid or any less solid. In fact, I would so so far as to say that I probably hold values that are far more weighted, calculated and educated than many many people two, three, four times my age.  And I had friends who knew concepts friends of my parents couldn't even grasp as early as age sixteen.  Age is fairly arbitrary, unless we're speaking about my second point...

    Think for a second about what a two-year-old does.  They go around smelling things, climbing things, putting things in their mouth, touching things, stretching things, and otherwise building schemas.  This process of building shemas or altering and reformatting our old ones doesn't go away; it continues until we die. (We build schemas for everything: tactile objects, religion, gender, race, concepts, everything.)  Anyway, ten years later, at age twelve, a different task is at hand (and the ability to build new schemas arises with it): The adolescent is now learning how to argue.  They weren't cognitively developed enough to be able to argue before, so they are very excited with these new abilities and decide they must exercise them whenever possible.  Many of them still don't think logically, and many don't understand the higher-order thought processes that is involved (deliberate thinking, affirming, confirming, reasoning, etc).  It's hard to expect for adolescents to respect you and your opinions, because they are all at different places in their development and the younger/slower-developed ones just want to argue.  Period.  They might even actually agree with you and feel like arguing with you.  No, it's not logical.  But you gotta understand where they're coming from.  And you also gotta understand that Xanga is a great place to do this.  There's nothing better than being able to argue without accountability to what you're saying.  Regardless of the fact that your site may have a name, it's not YOUR name, and you're pretty much anonymous.

    Moving away from age, I completely agree with your post.   And I think it is terribly sad.  Critical thinking skills are going out the window, independent thought is no longer being encouraged, the urge to explore and discover is stifled, questions (along with confidence) are squashed, the school curriculum moves too fast, and, as you summarized: A kid ends up having no idea who she is, what she believes, or how to think creatively, and is completely unprepared for it. 

    And then our perspectives diverge again.  The adolescent does not necessarily do the things you listed, the adolescent does not necessarily throw her faith out the window, the adolescent does not necessarily berate and belittle people on Xanga.  They may actually sit back and soul search and spend their time trying to answer all these questions they have.  Identity crisis creates significant turmoil in an adolescent's life, and to think that they all take it so lightly as to just move on and disregard their past... that's silly.  Granted, some do.  But to make a sweeping generalization about adolescents like that... unwarranted.

    Again, I agree that they need to realize that their opinion is not automatically right and will very likely change over time as they gain life experience. And that they need to eventually learn to disagree politely.

    But these lessons take time.  For some people they haven't even learned this well into their thirties and forties.  My best advise is to ignore them.  There is no use in feeling personally attacked by someone who is obviously ignorant / arguing for the sake of arguing / etc.

    A note about the way I personally behave on Xanga:  If I think a belief is wrong, I am going to challenge it.  I will try to do so respectfully.  At the same time, there isn't always a respectful approach that is obvious.  As you can see with this comment here, I give a lot of thought to my comments and I even do research for my comments (as I did with a book I recently commented on -- if that was your husband's site, then I am guilty of being one of the people you are speaking to here, I suppose).  I replied to some people saying that if they wanted to believe what one book stated (a book clearly built on a bias, which you'd see looking into it) without doing their own research, that was fine, but they shouldn't claim to be educated.  In fact, they shouldn't even agree or disagree with the post.  It upsets me very much to see people write "I could not agree more!!!1!" when chances are they did not also do research and are simply taking the blog owner's word for it.  That's just as dangerous as arbitrarily arguing.  And that's the reason I pick on commenters.  To challenge them and make them think.  To force them to do research before agreeing.  To push critical thinking.


March 3, 2009

  • Six Years Old!

    I am six years on Xanga as of... February 20th.  I just narrowly (two weeks?) missed my Xangaversary.  Should I still celebrate?  Someone suggested I bake a Xanga cake (you know, with the logo).  That would be so much funnnnn.  So, should I do it, even though it'll be a month late by the time I get around to it? 

March 2, 2009

  • If you're visiting from revelife

    I'd like to bring the following to your attention:

    There is a great deal of diversity in the gay and lesbian community and, contrary to the title of the thread you would be coming to my site from, there is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle." People are just too diverse for such a sweeping phrase.

    1)  I have found that the Bible, in its original Hebrew/Greek, is rather ambiguous about whether or not homosexuality as we understand it today is a sin. 

    2)  The "born gay" claim isn't even believed or supported by many homosexuals.  And what difference would it make, anyway?  People arguing in favor of living openly homosexual lives by using the "born gay" myth are doing little more than oppressing bisexuals, suggesting that they choose to be gay if ever in a homosexual relationship, since they're attracted to the opposite sex also.

    3)  Exodus international and other Ex-Gay programs are damaging.  There is plenty of research out there to support this.  Even the American Psychological Association feels that there is no need to change one's orientation and that it is more dangerous to attempt to do so than to let them be.

    4) Marriage should have completely been left out of the argument.  It's entirely irrelevant.

    I posted about this awhile back, from the other side of the argument when this post was first popular on Xanga.  The research I did for this last month was extensive (hence the three parts).

    The Bible and the Homosexual: Part 1 of 3

    The Bible and the Homosexual: Part 2 of 3

    The Bible and the Homosexual: Part 3 of 3

    Thanks for stopping by.

March 1, 2009

  • Pwned.

    I was reading a forum earlier, and the two following comments stuck out at me.  So I had to share them.

    Person 1, Christian

    Homosexuality is wrong and not because I said so, because it's Law and it's above your control or any Government. Do I hate Homosexuals... heck no they are just people, but what they promote and do is wrong. Gay pride parades are disgusting to me, the fact that they use the word "Pride" is even worse.

    Roj, your lack of respect for anyone who happens to adhere to the rules of the Bible is quite disturbing to me. I voted Alliance in the past, therefore I'm a poor excuse for a Canadian? Lovely.... yet I would be a great Canadian if I voted for Liars, Thieves, Criminals and Immoral goons... also known as The Liberal Party? :hurt:

    Fact: I'm not racist and do not hold any hatred against Homosexuals. If any forum member here is homosexual, I would treat them with the same respect. It is the act and the "pride" parades that I don't tolerate. Homosexuals need prayer, they are living in Sin and can change if they wanted to, and I'm not saying change as in magically become straight.

    Yeah, yeah... I know Sin doesn't mean anything to you. This is where the conflict comes because some people here think Life is a free game to do what we please and not answer for our actions, we don't have any rules right? It's do whatever we please, we're Human we make the rules.. when we're dead we just turn to worm food and that's it since we certainly don't have a soul and we certainly won't be judged or go to heaven or hell right? :rolleyes:

    I love a world, where following the rules and promoting Christ gets you hated.

    Person 2, Atheist

    Disclaimer: The text below is written tongue in cheek; it's not meant to offend.

    Religion is wrong and not because I said so, because it's just wrong and it's above your control or any Government. Do I hate religious people?... heck no they are just people, but what they promote and do is wrong. Religious propaganda is disgusting to me, the fact that they use the word "truth" is even worse.

    The lack of respect for anyone who happens to disbelieve in the Truth of one particular religious text is quite disturbing to me.

    Fact: I'm not racist and do not hold any hatred against religious people. If any forum member here is religious, I would treat them with the same respect. It is the act and the "bible-thumping" that I don't tolerate. Religious people need sympathy, they are living in a dreamworld and can change if they wanted to, and I'm not saying change as in magically become logical.

    Yeah, yeah... I know science doesn't mean anything to you. This is where the conflict comes because some people here think Life is not for living, but only to serve a demanding deity, we can't just live for ourselves right? It's do whatever our bible tells us, we must follow two thousand year old texts .. our lives are lived only to be judged as to whether we go to heaven or hell right? :rolleyes:

    I love a world, where not following one particular religion gets you hated.

February 28, 2009

  • General Guidelines for Relationships

    I need you to
      - agree or disagree with points made here
      - add points you think I missed and fit in well
      - whatever else related (particularly the second of the above two needs)

    Thanks!

    1- Relationships should never be started if there are things you want to change about the other person. You need to like them for whoever they are, flaws and quirks included. Expecting your partner to conform to your wants could have devastating results over time.

    2- Monogamous relationships should never be started if you think you can do better or want to find someone better (or just more combatable) or are planning to remain on the lookout while IN the relationship you're thinking about entering.

    3- A relationship should not be entered if you can't talk to the person about anything and everything -- unless the ability for good communication is something that exceeds your relationship expectations. (Which it shouldn't.)

    4- A relationship should not be entered if you do not know what you want to get out of the relationship or what the other person means to you. Plainly stated, you should be on the same page: mutually interested, and sharing the same overall goals. Even if that goal is sex. Have the truth out there.

    5- A relationship should never be started if you have irreconcilable differences. An example of this would be a Christian who bases his entire lifestyle and belief system around his faith. If someone who ran an abortion clinic* expressed interest, I don't care how good the chemistry is, he should not see her (see point 1).

    6- [edited] A relationship should never be started if one person does not love themselves. You should love yourself even when your partner is not around. If you don't, you should not be getting into a relationship.

    Disclaimer:  This is a rough draft.  It's four in the morning.  I am tired.  I probably have a lot more points I could have made, or words that would have made these points better, but, I'm tired.  Also, I don't have a list tying to figuring out when a relationship should be entered.  Figuring that out is harder and much more flexible (and much more influenced by religion or philosophy), IMO.

    *This is just an example.  I'm not about to get all into abortion.  Hopefully you can see the greater implicationw of that sentence.

February 27, 2009

  • Helminiak


    "Blessed are we who can hear the word and recognize God's love for us---which is to say, blessed are we who can trust that a benevolent power is at work in the universe.  Blessed are we who can move on with a sense of worth, bounty, gratitude, and ease, and rejoice in the subtle and illusive but all-pervasive beauty of life.  Blessed are we who, ever following our path with courage wherever honesty leads, are not afraid to touch, not afraid to love, not afraid to set wholesome goals and pursue worthwhile dreams, not afraid to embrace the world hand in hand with one another.  Blessed are we who, having risked living deeply, hear Jesus' or anyone's words of hope and understand what it means.  We are the ones who, in our turn, again bring hope to the world.  We are the ones who change the world, who go out and bear fruit..." - Helminiak

February 26, 2009

  • Gender Roles

    Basically.

  • I Don't Understand.


    I really don't understand how it's so hard.  I don't understand how it is so difficult to have compassion for someone, to try and understand what it is they are going through and feel sympathy (or sorrow) for them and feel compelled to do whatever is in your power to alleviate their suffering.  I don't understand how people can't slow down long enough to put themselves in another person's shoes, and try to picture life through their eyes, to try to collect as many details as possible before making an assessment or judgment about whatever the issue at hand is.  It is beyond my comprehension that people can make blanket statements that are judgmental about an entire group of people, all sorts of crazy generalizations about their character or situation, without getting to know them, without fully understanding that every person is different and has an entirely different story/history that brought them to where they are (and who they are) today. 

    People are people.  Individuals.  Different.  Just because they are gay, or African American, or Latino or Asian American, or transgender, bisexual, a teenage parent, a divorcee, an anorexic, stuck in an abusive relationship, a cutter, a prostitute, the idiot driver who cut you off pulling out of the parking lot, drug users, drug abusers, obsessed with coffee, a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, a carpenter, suicidal, having premarital sex, someone who underwent an abortion, physically or mentally disabled, into S&M or BDSM, twenty years older than you, twenty years younger than you, Jewish, athiest, D-cup sized, A-cup sized, 8", 4' tall, 7' tall, depressed, a widow, consistently late for work, impoverished, emotionally immature, whatever you can think of, DOES NOT MEAN that they are just like anyone else in that position or condition. 

    People are people.  Individuals.  Different.  No two people are the same. Some people may be similar, some people may share similar life stories, some people may share similar views, perspectives, values, beliefs and opinions, but that does not make these two people the same. It is therefore unfair to judge these two people the same. Because they are not.  They are not.

    Get to know someone before you judge them. Get to know their heart. Get to know their past.  Think of some stereotypes you hold right now.  Think of some people you feel fit the stereotypes, think of some people you feel contradict the stereotypes, think of some people you don't know well enough to judge.  Do you do it anyway?  Trying to fit everyone, everything, every situation into your pre-existing schemes; not about to venture out and learn, get educated, get acquainted, get beyond the surface, get down to the heart of the matter.  No. 

    No, it is so much easier to judge.  And so much more rewarding.  No?

    Bad news gets more attention than good news, judgement gets more views than compassion, violence keeps people's attention longer than kindness, people are happier when they can point fingers, people are happier when they can shoot others' beliefs down, happiness (and in some cases, salary) increases with views (no matter how accurate or truthful the article), and here on Xanga it is... having their blog featured, having 200 comments that agree with them (even if the total was 500... those other 300 don't matter; they don't fit into my scheme!). 

    But it's not right. It's not right. 

    It's not rewarding, to turn on the news and hear about a rape.  It's not rewarding to turn on the news and hear about a beating.   It is not rewarding to hear about a suicide, or someone starving themselves to death, or someone murdered by the jealous ex.  It is not rewarding to sign into Xanga and hear something about your particular demographic that is entirely untrue and uncalled for.  It is not rewarding to know that society is still pushing stereotypes and encouraging oppression and justifying entirely unjustifiable thought and behavior.  It is not rewarding.  It is not.  It is sick. 

    And it is completely acceptable. 

    In fact, it is even praised.  Rewarded with a paycheck, two eprops, a rec, a salary.

    I want there to be a day when the news is saturated with stories of compassion and love and random acts of kindness.  I don't care if saying this makes me a dreamer.  Really, I don't.  I don't care if saying that I want all people to accept people for who they are -- whoever they are -- makes me an idealist.  This is my soul.  And I am sick--literally sick--right now, from watching everyone point fingers and belief-bash, and generalize and stereotype and oppress.  I amaze myself for believing that society is better than this.  I amaze myself when I feel let down or sad by witnessing public displays of ignorance (or fear or intolerance or judgment).  I should be used to it.  I mean, really.  It is everywhere.

    But aye, I am a dreamer. And in my little world there is a whole lot more love.  A whole lot more acceptance.  I whole lot more people-embracing and belief-embracing.  And a whole lot more compassion.

    But I am not stupid enough to live there, in my own little world, forever. I am friends with the opposing views; I know them well.  Other religious beliefs, other cultural differences, other political views, other family values -- I am even familiar with the realization that many people lack beliefs, views, and values. 

    Some people sleepwalk through life.  I live it.

    Understanding ignorance and fear and intolerance doesn't make me any less sick though.

    So I am going to ask you something.  All I am asking of you is that you stop being part of the problem. Get to know the demographic you judge, or shut up.  It isn't fair for the oppressed to have to deal with your condemntation.  We are all just people trying to live life.  So until you know my heart, don't judge me. 

    And that goes for every soul I am giving a voice to right now.

February 22, 2009

  • Beliefs

    There seems to have been a surge of posts pertaining to faith (or the lack of it) as of late.  I've seen several posts on atheism, theism, and Christianity, and one's friends strained frustration over Xanga's ignoring of the agnostics.  So here goes.

    Most of you know where I come from (that is, my past), so I'm not going to go into it.  I've written about it probably a dozen times in the past six months alone.  I've spoken about it, I've made vlogs about it, it's a big part of Who I Am and I'm not about to neglect it.  But, it is my past.  I have moved on.  I will not let the beliefs of my past define me.  (The quick version: I was raised in fundamentalist Christianity, believed it adamantly for seventeen years, and have de-converted.)

    I presently identify as an absolute agnostic theist.  Breaking it down: The absolute agnostic in me believes that the question of the existence or nonexistence of a god or gods and the nature of ultimate reality is unknowable because the only way we can verify any experience is through nothing other than another (subjective) experience.  Does that sound complicated?  Basically, I don't believe a single one of us can know 100% whether a God exists or not, what will happen to us after death, if there is a God that will judge us, whose faith is right, etc.  However, as a theist, I would still like to believe that there is such a deity and would like to follow a tradition.  That said, I identify for the most part as a Messianic Jew (a branch of Judaism that believes Jesus is the Messiah that the Law and Prophets spoke of) and I practice Kabbalistic teachings in addition (this being mystical Judaism that follows the teachings of the Zohar). 

    To quote a Rabbi with similar beliefs from mine, I can be called a "Jewish practitioner of generic religion," an "empiricist," and "post-denominational" -- the latter being the belief that labels and definitions suggest a static belief, while these days we need to be flexible, as the issues of modern life demand penetrating insight and adaptation.  This Rabbi feels strongly that tradition has a great deal to teach and that ritual is often encoded with "messages that ancient sages wanted to transmit but could not with words" and that a move toward renewal does not mean we must eliminate the "old" way, but should "[appraise] everything from a fresh, honest perspective."

    I am possessed of a skeptical, rational mind which has me very into Biblical history/linguistics, comparative religions, and many branches of science.  I reject the vast majority of religious dogma and firmly disbelieve that being religious should be something that puts one in a box.  I do not believe that the earth is 4,000 years old, that all humanity descended from a mud-made couple, or that the universe was created in six literal days. But, like the Rabbi, I am not about to jump on the bandwagon and abandon all religion after being raised in faith traditions I can only call intellectually lacking- because they still have a lot to offer.  I do not feel that I have to choose between faith and science. 

    I also do not feel I need to choose between faith and faith; I don't believe that my faith is the only way to God, or that my beliefs are "right."  They are just right for me.  For example, I believe Jesus gave a beautiful and powerful example of how to live a virtuous life and that he doesn't need to be literally God to lead by example. (I also believe that when he says "I and the Father are One" he means in purpose and desire, and that, sure, he's the Son of God, but not any more so than you or I are children of God, and that he is literally God but not any more so than you or I are literally God. BUT. Discussions for another day.)

    In reality, my religious beliefs are a mix of every religion or spiritual path I have ever studied: Protestantism, Catholicism, Judaism, mystical Judaism, Gnosticism, Agnosticism, Siddha Yoga, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Sufism, Baha'i, and many more.  To quote a friend who shares almost my EXACT beliefs: "My current theory is that there is some huge, major truth and that every religious framework stands in a circle around that truth; so no one can see the whole thing, and therefore describes it differently. There are just too many similarities for it to all be at odds. [...] I feel connected to Christianity in general and disconnected from any particular denomination. I feel like there are all these things that people have added that aren't in the Bible, and that's where we move away from the message of Christ."  I am very much on the same page with her. The Bible and Christ's example are both beautiful. But people twist it, distort it, use it to condemn, and blatantly disregard it while still claiming to be a follower, and that is what has it all twisted up.

    Before I close, some personal views from my abstract concept of God: 

    (1) I believe the old quote that we are spirits on a human journey not humans on a spiritual journey. 

    (2) I believe that God dwells IN us AS us. (This would explain his identity as God of the living, Matt 22:32, our the body as a house/temple for God/The Holy Spirit, 1 Cor 6:19, and why we should honor our neighbor as ourselves, Matt 22:39/Mark 12:31/Luke 10:27/etc... because God dwells IN them AS them too -- we need to work hard to recognize God in each other.) 

    (3) I believe that our relationships (especially those with the people to whom we are closest) are the real opportunities we are given to emulate the tolerance, sharing, and love that are the Creator’s essence. These are the qualities that our relationships can teach us, and these are the qualities we most need to learn if we are to fulfill the true purpose of our lives. 

    (4) I believe that there is a benevolent force at work in the Universe, and that the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) are the embodiment of this force. I believe that those that rejoice in the subtle and illusive but all-pervasive beauty of life are blessed -- those who "follow their path with courage wherever honesty leads, are not afraid to touch, not afraid to love, not afraid to set wholesome goals and pursue worthwhile dreams, not afraid to embrace the world hand in hand with one another" are blessed. 

    (5) I believe that we create God.  I believe that, without us there would be no God.  Therefore, if God exists (a God that is outside my definition of "God", a God bigger than that definition I mean), God only exists because we believe he exists.  He is nothing without us.  He needs us.  Therefore, we are all God because we are all Creator.  We created God.  And THEN God created the world. 

    (6) I reject the idea that hell is a conscious eternal torment.  The wages of sin is death (Rom 6:23), not eternal torment).  The eternal fire was made for the devil (Matt 25:41) and it is the fire that is eternal, not what is thrown into it.  Eternal punishment is death forever, the loss of life forever.  If all are born with immortality, then why do people have to seek it (Romans 2:7 says clearly we are to "seek" it).  I believe we succeed this life by the legacy we leave behind and also perhaps through our energy being reincarnated.  However, I am still doing my research on all these thoughts.

    (7) I believe that Satan is a flaw of the imagination, or anthropomorphic creature.  Because Life is too beautiful and too variant to be broken down into good and evil, God and evil, good and bad, black and white.  God is the totality of everything we see in binary.  Our dichotomies do not exist.

    I choose to challenge duality, dichotomies, and binary existences. 

    I see God everywhere, in all of you, in the sunset and the stars, in every time someone holds the door for someone else, in every instance of love, kindness, patience, compassion...

    Life is without a formula.

    Life is more exciting with all the questions it brings.

    And I, personally, find Life more rewarding with a benevolent deity in it, whether or not one exists.